good morning,
it’s finally autumn! the weather is cooling down, thank goodness. i can finally start wearing some of the clothes i bought in seoul.
in my last round up, i mentioned that i was very up and down. i thought this would fade but it stayed and grew stronger. i had a lot of anger and resentment towards work, fought with my boyfriend more times than i would like to admit and struggled to find the fun in things.
my therapist likes to use a cup of water as an analogy for one’s emotional stability. the water representing your emotions, the cup holding it together. as a highly sensitive person, it doesn’t take a lot to fill my cup. it’s something i’m working on but all throughout march, my cup was very full all the time. one tiny thing would cause my cup to overflow, and send me into heightened overdrive. i have never been so unhappy for so long and i think it had a lot had to do with the intense negativity i was harbouring. it began festering in my behaviour and how i treated those around me. it almost cost something very important to me.
i want to feel like myself again so i’m going to prioritise rest… april is my month of rest and relaxation. i will not associate rest with laziness. i will not seek permission to rest. and i will not feel guilty about resting. resting is not doing nothing, it’s allowing my cup to level out. if that looks like bed rotting, watching emergency intercom, playing switch or listening to an audiobook, that’s okay. i deserve to rest now so i can play later.
see you in a fortnight,
jade x
🎧 listening
songs on repeat
harry potter and the deathly hallows part 1 soundtrack
my family has been attending the harry potter film concert series for years. this one is particularly special because deathly hallows part 1 is composed by alexandre desplat who is my favourite composer (he always makes my spotify wrapped). he’s well known for scoring wes anderson movies but harry potter was his big break into hollywood. the orchestra plays the film score live as you watch the movie… it’s very cool!
the jonas brothers
i also saw the jonas brothers live… a concert i dreamed about since a kid! it was so much fun… a lot of mid twenty somethings screaming the songs from the old disney days. it was a really special night with my sister, andrea and wil and i went to work the next day without a voice.
i went to a party that was themed dead trends. inspired by alexa chung and the prime tumblr days, i wore tights under denim shorts, a black choker and my docs. i listened to this playlist on the bus ride to the party and i felt like a teenager again. the nostalgia was beautiful.
🎤 fun
there’s no podcast.
my sister and her friend bought these toy microphones to make their conversations more fun and performative. they talk about their latest life updates but act as though they are recording a podcast, it’s very cute. enthralled by their creativity, i bought one myself and i can assure you that it’s one of the best purchases i’ve made in a while. i come home, pick up the mic and fill everyone (nobody) in - friendship updates, music and movies i love, work gossip but my favourite thing of all is bringing the mic out during vanderpump rules and commenting on everything that’s going down. get yourself a toy microphone and pretend you’re on a podcast, it’s so much fun.
my instagram reel went gangbusters.
it’s a strange feeling because i made this zine thinking it was so niche and specific to me so imagine my surprise when i kept seeing people repost it on their stories. thank you for making me feel less alone in my quest to let go of control.
🍿 watch
couples therapy season one
couples therapy is a documentary series following four couples and their therapy sessions with psychoanalyst Dr Orna Guralnik. this is not fiction. these are real couples inviting viewers into something that is very intimate and personal. i love it.
i discovered the show on the plane back from singapore and immediately wanted to watch it with my boyfriend. we started binging the first season, pausing every few seconds to discuss and analyse. it started a lot of conversations like experiences and feelings we could relate to, the level of empathy and patience we had on certain things, who we thought was in the wrong. my boyfriend and i brought up past fights we had and how similar or different they were to the fighting we saw unravel on screen. it made for a memorable watching experience and i highly recommend couples therapy to anyone who is interested in psychology and relationships.
if you’re in australia, you can watch it for free on sbs viceland.
shiva baby (again)
i spoke about my love for this movie in my last newsletter. to be fair, this is a record… i only watched it once this month.
love lies bleeding
it was good! didn’t love it, didn’t hate it but i enjoyed the ride.
✂️ collage kit
this collage kit is inspired by dreamscapes.
📅 april calendar
thank you for reading! the next round up will be a report on my month of rest and relaxation. fingers crossed i’m less exhausted.
the tumblr era playlist is so good! i've been also feeling nostalgic these days, i don't know why, and have been listening to 2014 songs and the playlist is immaculate <33