05: motherhood 👩👧
thinking and imagining
hola,
i’m back baby!
lots of stuff happening in my little world, my routine kept reshuffling and i needed to sort some shit out before starting this newsletter again. thanks for sticking around, and thank you to those who subscribed while i was on hiatus. sorry it took so long to get something in your inbox.
for the past few months, i’ve been thinking a lot about motherhood. most of the time, it’s just entertaining questions i have:
would i be a good mother?
what would i look like as a mother?
do i have any maternal instincts?
do i even want to be a mother?
i’m not at the point in my life where i’m ready to birth a child into this world, but i catch myself daydreaming and picturing myself as a mother. a new identity.
i tried to google what this feeling was, if it meant anything but my searches didn’t come up with anything useful. some of the articles that came up were:
Are you ever ‘ready’ to have a baby?
I’m not ‘ready’ for kids. Here’s why I’m choosing to have them anyway.
There’s never a ‘right’ time for a baby - but these questions can help you decide.
i answered the questions in the article and i was shocked to see that yes, it was confirmed, i’m ready to have a baby…
feeling even more confused, i gathered these feelings and collaged them (surprise, surprise). i was a bit reluctant to post them, motherhood seemed like a really random and intimate theme to share but i posted them anyway. a lot of the comments seemed to share the same feeling - imagining motherhood but not seriously considering it yet. it was comforting to see other humans were going through something similar, asking themselves the same questions.
i guess i’m a mother in a lot of other ways, a mother to my creativity, a mother to my house plants, i’m just not ready to be a mother mother yet.
hopefully i’ll see you in a fortnight, it would be awesome to stay consistent with this, i really enjoy putting these newsletters together.
warm wishes,
jade x
collages
bit of a different style to my previous collages but i’m enjoying this journal-like style. can’t wait to see what it evolves into.
collage behind the scenes
yes, i will absolutely plug my new youtube video.
about the vid: i took some pics using toy cameras, my fanta shaped 35mm camera and my trolls camcorder i bought at a kids toys store. i took the same photo on each camera to see how they would compare. walking around beachside suburbia is what pulled me down the motherhood spiral. something about imagining life as a mother, chasing my kid around the front yard of my white picket fenced house.
at 2:20 is where the time lapse begins and you can see how i configured the two collages above.
hope you like it!
collage kit - toy cameras
i compiled some of my favourite images from the vlog above. feel free to collage with them and tag me in anything you create and post @chubbycalico_
movies
lately, these movies have been hitting different. watching them for the first time, i was relating a lot to the daughter (usually protagonist) but now i can’t help but pay more attention to the mothers…
Lady Bird (2017)
The Lost Daughter (2021)
Hereditary (2018)
Mama Mia (2008)
Room (2015)
Freaky Friday (2003)
last notes
i’m not ready to be a mother, but having fun imagining what it could look like.
here’s to staying consistent with creative projects.
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