07: reflecting 🪞
looking within
hello,
the seasons are starting to change, it’s beginning to transition into winter. the sun is setting earlier and the nights are getting cooler. i kinda like it! what i don’t like is that we’re almost halfway through the year. 2023 has gone by quickly! a lot has happened in my year so far: a break up, settling into a new home, figuring out work/life balance, friendship challenges, so yes, a lot to reflect on! my therapist says i’m quite the reflective person and i think my collages would agree with his theory… reflection has helped with my empathy and growth but it can also send me into an overthinking spiral, probably because i spend a lot of time thinking about my flaws. if i’m self aware enough to realise them, i feel a sense of guilt when i don’t try to fix them. i’m a believer that things will repeat itself if you don’t learn from it the first time. if something a bit shit happens more than once, i can’t help but think it’s a pattern. it’s time to start looking within. so, this fortnight’s newsletter is an amalgamation of conversations i’ve had with friends, collages i’ve made, favourite song lyrics - all things that make me feel more sane because i know there are others out there who think in a similar way. thank you for your time!
jade x
collage
hamartia: a fatal flaw leading to the downfall of a tragic hero or heroine.
i don’t really ask the question for the answer, i mean that part can be interesting, but it’s more about how the person answers the question. if they pause to think about their answer, i get excited because i can see their taking a minute to self-reflect. and idk that’s kinda sexy.
conversations with friends
it’s ironic that your self-awareness means realising others aren’t - amy crow
a really fucking amazing realisation that amy had when i was ranting about a friend who keeps finding themselves in the same predicaments over and over but doesn’t do anything to change their behaviour. we really bonded through frustration that day! i haven’t figured out how to approach my friend as i tend to shy away from ‘difficult’ conversations, but maybe this is a lesson for me, an opportunity to get better at handling sensitive chats with friends.
collage kit - repurpose and reflection
i don’t really post my film pics to ig anymore. the photos sit on my computer and hardly see the light of day, so i decided to repurpose them and give them new life. putting it together was quite the reflective exercise. i remembered old friends, eras of my past self and places i’ve been on my travels. enjoy!
quote
📺 veronica mars (s4 e7)
do character flaws count less if you’re self aware about them? - veronica mars
i wrote this quote down ages ago, when season four had just come out and it’s stayed with me since. while i like to think i can take a little credit for knowing some of my flaws, i’m not going to grow as a person if i don’t try to work on them. it’s not fucking easy i can tell you that but i have learnt that talking about your flaws with close friends can be helpful. so when there is a time where i’m out of line and my flaws bubble to the surface, i have my friends to gently put me in my place. they only want the best for me after all 🥰.
reading (kind of academic but an easy read)
What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It)
By Tasha Eurich
2018
in my ‘extensive’ research on this topic, i read this research paper published by harvard business review. the author conducted multiple surveys and interviews and the data taken from the results led to some very fascinating conclusions. here are my favourite takeaways:
self-awareness isn’t one truth. it’s a delicate balance of two distinct, even competing, viewpoints.
people who improved their external self-awareness did so by seeking out feedback from loving critics.
‘why’ is a surprisingly ineffective self-awareness question as we tend to invent answers that feel true but are often wrong.
instead, we should ask ‘what’. it helps one stay objective, future-focused, and empowered to act on our new insights.
music
lyrics have a way of jumping out at you depending on what’s going on in your life. they take on new meaning and sometimes, you feel them more deeply than you did before. these are the lyrics that have been on my mind lately:
reflection
things i would like to work on:
avoid taking my frustration out on people around me, it’s not their problem i’m in a shit mood
listen more, give your full attention, be mindful when you start to daydream
patience, slow down, not everything is a sprint
lol
what’s a newsletter without some vanderpump rules content? fuck, i’m so excited for the season finale and THREE part reunion… reality tv show art.
last notes
i’ve realised that these newsletters are becoming a digital collage of mixed media things that all centre around something i’m going through, and i think that’s kinda cool.
on a lighter note hehe, what’s your hamartia?
💌 read my previous newsletter here
🐀 monthly round up for may is here!
🌳 check out what else i do here